Time seems to be running out for my fiancee! No... it has run out, and now it is down and dirty time! The doctors had told my little Goddess that she would be going into surgery this coming Thursday. Something terrible must have gone wrong! Her surgery has been rescheduled for 4:00 PM our time, 10:00 PM her time if I understood her correctly, she was really upset, that is when she will be going under the knife.
She borrowed a phone from one of the doctors and called me several hours ago, hysterical, until I calmed her with the sweetest words of love I could feel in my heart. After she calmed as best she could, still silently weeping, she sobbed out to me that the doctor was sending her into surgery tonight. She told me she was so sick from all the poisons they were saturating her system with, and then to make her situation worse, to put her closer to the edge of madness, the man who seriously believes he now owns Geri has sent word he will be coming to see her tomorrow after she wakes up.
I should be the one there beside her, the man she loves, not the man she is scared to death of. And she IS afraid of him and what he might do to her. I have every one of her frightened messages begging me to find a way to be with her when this stranger shows up! Geri has asked me to burn some candles for her protection, and perform a healing ritual during her surgery.
An emergency of some kind has turned our nightmare into a very real horror! I cannot imagine how she is feeling with no one that really loves her anywhere near when she needs them the most! When she needs ME the most! Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggh... I feel like taking this damned bottle of xanax I was prescribed today for my anxiety... I still might if things do not become better. I cannot keep living as if nothing was wrong when it is MY fault she is in this situation in the first place. It has been eating at me for two years, and now I feel like it is devouring my soul! I have not been an evil person. I have done many good things for those who needed aid and succor... why are we cursed to be apart at such a crucial and terrifying moment in time? I have been throwing up since she called me. I would DO ANYTHING... PAY BACK ANYTHING to the person that enables me to comfort my beloved and prevent this person from the acts of violence he wishes to inflict upon the love of my life, possibly destroying Geri's mind, if not our true love and affection. I am at a loss as to what to do...I am so tired... so weary...
